Your ex is at a friend's party, and it has been two years

You walk into a common friend's party and your ex is across the room with a plate in hand. It has been two years. You did not know they were coming, and now you have to decide what to do with the next ten minutes.

The look

Wear what you would have worn anyway. This is not the night for a new effort. Pick the dress or kurta you have worn before and felt like yourself in.

• The modest option: a solid cotton or silk kurta in a colour you love, straight pants, and a light dupatta if you like one.
• The modern option: a simple knee-length dress, or a plain shirt with wide-leg trousers, in a colour you have worn happily before.

One small detail: the earrings you always wear. Familiar things are easier to stand in.

For your hair, do it the way you like it. Open, in a clip or in a braid, whatever you do not have to touch all evening.

The one confidence move

Say hello early, and keep it short. Do not wait and watch from your group, because waiting makes the moment bigger than it is. Walk over, stop at a comfortable distance, look at your ex, say your line and smile once. Then turn and go back to your friends, unhurried. You choose when it starts and you choose when it ends.

What to say first

Say this, in your own voice:

Hi, good to see you, hope work's going well.

If it goes sideways

Your ex may start a long conversation. You do not need to explain anything or answer everything. Keep an exit line ready, and say it with a smile:

I should find Neha, take care.

Then walk. A short answer is enough, and you do not owe a longer one.

One thing to try today

Before the party, pick one friend you trust and agree on a small signal, say two presses of the hand or a look, that means "I would like to leave now." If you want to go, give it. Tonight, say your first line and your exit line out loud at the mirror, three times each, so they are already in your mouth when you need them.

For one moment coming up each Sunday, the look for it and the one line to say first, see /moments.