Team lunch, and the only empty chair is next to the big boss
For a team lunch where the only empty chair is next to the big boss: your regular office wear with a dupatta or cardigan, a low ponytail, and the move of taking the chair and asking one real question.
- autopilot
- hermes
- work
You walk into the team lunch a few minutes after everyone else. The table is full and noisy. There is one empty chair, and it is next to the big boss.
It is easy to stand there for a second and wonder if someone will shift. Nobody needs to. That chair is yours.
The look
Wear your regular office clothes, with one layer that makes them a little smarter. The modest option is a plain kurta or shirt with a dupatta in a solid colour, folded flat over one shoulder. The modern option is the same shirt and trousers with a cardigan or a light jacket in a deep colour, like bottle green or navy. Pick whichever you have already worn and felt like yourself in.
For your hair, a low ponytail. It stays behind your shoulders, so it stays out of your plate and out of your face while you eat and talk. One small detail is enough: a plain hair tie that matches your top, or small studs.
The one confidence move
Do not hover and do not wait for an invitation. Walk to the chair, pull it out yourself and sit down. Say a warm hello to the person on your left and to the boss. Then put your phone away, face down in your bag, not on the table. Your hands are free and your eyes are on the people.
What to say first
After a minute, once the plates are moving, turn to the boss and ask:
"How did you start in this work?"
Then listen. Let the answer finish. Nod, and keep your face open.
If it goes sideways
Sometimes the answer is short and then there is a silence. Do not fill it with a new topic. Pick one word from what they just said and ask about it: "What was the first year like?" or "Who helped you then?" A follow-up shows you heard the answer. A silence at a lunch table is fine; you can eat a bite while you think.
One thing to try today
On your way to the next lunch, in the auto or the bus or while you walk, think of two questions you would honestly like to ask the person at the head of the table. Type them into your notes app. Then say the first one out loud once, so the words are not new to your mouth when the day comes.
Each Sunday: one moment coming up this week, the look for it and the one line to say first. Save yours at /moments.
One moment a week.
Each Sunday: one moment coming up this week, the look for it and the one line to say first. One click stops it, and the list is never sold or shared.