Raising your hand at the society meeting while the uncles are talking

The meeting has been going for forty minutes. Parking, then paint, then parking again. The lift has broken three times this month, and nobody has said so yet. You are on a plastic chair with your hand half ready, and the uncles are still talking.

The look

Choose what you can sit in for an hour and still stand up in without thinking about it.

• Modest option: a plain cotton kurta in a solid colour, such as deep green, navy or maroon, with straight pants or a salwar you already wear.
• Modern option: a crisp shirt in one solid colour, half tucked into jeans or wide trousers, with the sleeves rolled once.
• Hair: tied back in a low ponytail or a plain bun, so you never need to touch it while you speak.
• One small detail: a folded sheet of paper or your phone notes with the problem written in one line. It gives your hands something to hold.

Everything here can come from your own cupboard or a sister's.

The one confidence move

Sit where you can be seen: an aisle seat, or the second row, not the corner behind a pillar. When you want to speak, raise your hand fully, straight up, and keep it there. If nobody looks, stand up. Standing is allowed. Plant both feet, hold your paper in front of you, and wait one second before you begin.

What to say first

Say your flat number first, so they know where you are speaking from. Then one problem and one fix. Say it slowly.

"I'm from B-204. The lift has broken three times this month. Can we get a written service plan by the next meeting?"

If it goes sideways

Someone may start talking before you finish, perhaps with "Beta, pehle...". Stay standing, keep your voice even, and say:

"Let me finish, then I'll listen."

Then finish your sentence and sit down. You have said the part you came to say, and the rest of the meeting can carry on.

One thing to try today

Before the meeting, find one other resident who also has the problem, a neighbour on your floor or someone you meet at the lift, and ask if they will nod or say "yes" when you speak. Then write your one line on a paper and say it out loud at the mirror tonight, three times, with a pause after your flat number.

Each Sunday: one moment coming up this week, the look for it and the one line to say first. Find them at /moments.