Your first client meeting: the handshake at the door

It is the morning of your first client meeting. You are early, the lift opens, and there is the door with their name on it. Your hand feels unsure of what to do. This note is about the one second at that door, when you decide to hold out your hand first and say your whole name.

The look

Pick what you already wear to work and feel like yourself in.

• Modest option: a plain kurta in a solid colour, with a short structured jacket or a blazer over it, and straight trousers or churidar.
• Modern option: a crisp formal shirt, tucked in at the front only, with straight trousers and a belt you do not have to fix.
• Shoes: closed shoes you can walk and stand in for an hour. Walk a few steps in them the night before.
• Hair: a neat low bun, pinned so you never touch it during the meeting.
• One small detail: a thin watch or a pair of small studs. One thing, so your hands stay free.

Borrow the jacket from a sister or a friend if you do not own one. Choose the piece that lets you lift your arm without pulling.

The one confidence move

Offer your hand first. As you reach the door, keep your shoulders easy and your chin level. Put your hand out, a little before they do. Hold their eyes for one second, long enough to see their face, and then let it relax. Your grip can be firm and short. Let go when they do.

The first pause will feel long to you and normal to them.

What to say first

Say your full name, the whole of it, the way it is written on your card. Do not shorten it, even if people have always shortened it. Then say:

"I'm [your full name], I'll be looking after your account. Before we begin, what would make today useful for you?"

That question puts the meeting on their needs, and it gives you something to listen to, so your nerves have somewhere to go.

If it goes sideways

Say they are on a call, or they only nod and walk ahead, and your hand is hanging in the air. Lower it without hurry, and smile. Then say your name and your line anyway, as you take your seat. The handshake was one way to start. Your name and your question do the same work.

One thing to try today

Before tonight, find a friend or a sister. Stand at a door, walk up, hold out your hand, say your full name and the line above. Do it twice. Ask only one thing: did your hand go out first? Then do it once more alone at the mirror, and keep your name whole.

Each Sunday we send one moment coming up this week, the look for it and the one line to say first. Find them at /moments.